A teacher came back home and told her husband:
-Today I`ve been explaining and explaining and eplaining the lesson ...and after all even I got it.

The executioner raised his ax and said to the convict:
-It`s easy for you... I still have to go after work to chop wood.

Two friends are talking:
-I bought a dildo with guarantee yesterday.
-What guarantee?
-The seller said that if it gets broken, he will come and do the job himlself.

Q:Why do niggers have wide nostrils?
A:Beacuse they have fat fingers.

A man brought his TV to repair services, cause it had no sound. After a week he went to take it back, but the technician said that he couldn`t find the damage.
-Sir, how exactly did it stop working?
-Well, I was watching TV and was dableing with a nail in my ear and suddenly the sound stopped...

A cow climbed on a pear.
A craw came and asked her what was she doing.
-I eat cherries. - said the cow.
-But cow, that`s a pear.
-Nevermind. I brought them from home.

Germans and Jews were playing football in a gas kamera. Guess who won?
-Jews for sure, they play on their own terrain.

-How many jokes for blondes are there?
-Neither one. They are all thruth.

A man was sitting and crying. A girl passed by and asked:
-Why are you crying?
-I`m hungry.
She bought him food, he ate it and started crying again.
-Why are you crying now?
-I`m thirsty...
She went and bought him a drink.
-Why are you crying now?
-I`m missing a woman`s love...
The girl thought for a while, agreed and they had sex...
-And now what`s wrong? Why are you crying?
-Life sucks... look around - everywhere whores...

John got home and told his father:
-Daddy, today was my first sexual activity.
-Bravo, my son! When would be the second one?
-The boys told me to come back when my a*s stops hurting.

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