Two flies are hanging on a piece of shit. One of them asked:
-May I fart?
The other one:
-Shame on you! We are at the table!

..a passive necrophiliac ... ...

-What`s written on the dildo`s button?
-Fuck on and Fuck off.

-Mommy, do babies really come from the place that the sperm comes in?
-Yes, daughter…
-..This baby will knock out all of my teeth then!

Child`s voice:
-Hello, is that the emergency service? Here in our building an elevator got stuck and one man and a woman are inside. Judging by the moans the lady is seriously injured.

A young boy took his girlfriend at home for the first time. They started to fuck and she said:
-If you want, I would be on top.
-No, I would be on top. That`s how I`m used to….
-What do you mean? You said, I`m your first one….
-Yeap… I just forgot to tell you that I work in a deadhouse.

An old man is complaining:
-I have lived through one world war, three car accidents, one plane crush, two unsuccessful marriages, a bankruptcy…and my grandkid came today to me and told me: “Grandpa, you know nothing about life…”

A guy is stretching:
-Ooh! I got that desire to work again… I`ll go take a nap... it might go away….

A horse got in the bar and said:
-Give me a soda!
-Don`t you want a whiskey?
-No... I`m with the cart!

-John, why did you hit you grandpa`s head?
-I won`t do that anymore!
-You won`t be able to...

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