The ant asked the elephant:
-Elephant, please sit on this crumb!
The elephant sat ot it.
-Now put that crumb on your head!
The elephant - a good animal - put the crumb on his head.
The ant rode away and said:
-Whoww, what a big burger!

Conversation between programists:
-What do you do when you see a cool girl?
-I record the file.

The Rabbit fall asleep and somebody knocked at his door.
-Who`s there? - asked the rabbit.
-It`s me. - answered a voice outside.
-Oh, it`s meee. - said to himself the rabbit and fell asleep again.

Two friends are talking to each other:
-I love men as I love coffee.
-I see - black, strong and hot...
-No, no, no, nooo...four times per day.

They asked the radio:
-Is there life on Mars?
The answer:
-No life there also.

-So honey, you are ready to prove your love for me?
-Yes, darling!
-In all possible ways?
-Yes! Which pose to start with?

A lazy gravedigger had to dig a grave. He was walking to find the place and was reading the signs at the tombstones.
"Here rests..."
He kept on walking and read again:
"Here rests..."
As he reached the place where he had to dig, he saw on the neighbouring tombstone the sign "Here rests..."
He thought to himslef:
-Here everyone rests... why I`m the only one working?! - and sat on the ground for some rest too.

-What should someone do if he see a small green man?
-He should cross the streat.

A drank man approached a lady with a puppy in the park.
-Oh, what a beautiful puppy. What`s its name?
-Well, it`s little strange, but - Brrrrrrnnnt. *fart sound*
-Oh, my God, that`s awesome. So you can call it without even opening your mouth?

Two flies stood on a shit. Suddenly one of them said:
-If you just know in what a clean house i got yesterday. It was so clean everywhere...
The other one said:
-Please, don`t tell me things like that while I`m having a lunch.

  1. «
  2. 1
  3. 2
  4. 3
  5. 4
  6. 5
  7. 6
  8. 7
  9. 8
  10. 9
  11. 10
  12. 11
  13. »