Eight years old boy was staring at two flies on the window...:
-Mommy, are there male flies?
-Of course yes, my boy...
-Mommy, are there female flies?
The mother understood that he`s gonna ask her something indecent and said:
-No, there are no female flies, my son...
The boy took the flypaper, hit the window and yelled:
-You fags, die!

How do you tell a joke to a chick with long boobs?
-Hey, beautiful... I will tell you such a funny joke, that your boobs will fall down from the laugh... Oh excuse me. Somebody had already did that...

Two gays met and one of them said:
-Oh... look at you! You bought new shoes! What leather are they made from?
-They are from elephant`s dick leather...
-Oh, come and kick me in the ass twice! - replied cheerfully the other fag

What is homemade champagne?
You`re having your whisky at home and your wife is hissing around you.

A man went to see his Doctor. He took his pants off and the Doctor checked him. After that he told him:
-Your balls are very dirty!
The man got back home and told his wife:
-I want to talk to you!
-But I`m so bussy right now, I don`t even have time to wipe my ass...
-That`s what we gotta talk about!

Job advertisement:
"A big and serious company is hiring an experienced hacker at a highly paid position. Please, publish your CV on the home page at www.microsoft.com."

A young man in love shyly murmurs:
-I ...have a question, but I don`t know how to ask you...
The girl:
-Ask me... I have the answer ready from two weeks.

One wrestler died. On his tombstone his friends wrote: "A big heart and two strong hands stopped beating forever..."

Two vampires met. One of them was holding a loaf of bread in his hand. The other asked him:
-Where are going with that loaf of bread?
-Behind the corner happened a carcrash. I`m going to dunk it a lil bit.

Q:Why blondes don`t talk while having sex?
A:Because their mothers had told them not to talk to strangers.
A2:Because their mothers had told them not to talk with stuffed mouth.

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