Child-moth and his mother were staying in the closet.
-Mom, let`s fly!
-No, I'll stay here and gnaw this fur coat.
-How pity... - replied the little moth - Yesterday as you flew so many people applauded you.
Mark Twen made a compliment to a woman at a party:
-Young lady, you look amazing!
-I can not say the same for you!
-Then lie as I do!
A man came back from a bussiness trip in Africa. His colleagues saw him - sad, moody with empty face... They asked him what was wrong with him...
-Ohh - said sadly the man - one day I got lost in the jungle. Some very hungry lions started chasing me... I couldn`t find where to hide, so I climbed on a palm tree. And there was a horny gorilla that fucked me tree days and tree nights.
-So that's not so bad? You got fucked but you have saved your life!
-That`s not a life... I`m here, he is there - he`s not calling, not even writting...
A drunk man got home and his wife started to fight with him:
-Where were you, drunker?!
-I played chess with Steeve.
-Why do you smell as vodka?!
-What do you want - to smell as chess?
A dildo and a condom were staying in a closet and the condom said to the dildo:
-Why are you shaking? They are going to trow me away!
A man was fishing in the lake near his house. Suddenly something bit the bait. The man saw that this was the Gold Fish. She told him:
-Please, let me go nice villager, don`t kill me. I`ll make three of your wishes to come true...
The man hit the fish in the ground and started screaming:
-Who are you calling a villager?!
A whale was swimming around a female whale and was murmoring her:
-There are so many countries in the world, hundreds of ecological organizations, thousands political leaders, millions of people... all of them are fighting for the same - our species to continue to exist... and you are telling me, that you have a headache!
Two friends met and started talking about the wedding of one of them:
-And how is it being married?
-What to say - my dog run away already...
Once upon a time there was a young man, who wanted to become a great writer.
-I want to write words, that the whole world will read! -...said he. -Something that will cause great emotions in people hearts. I want the written from me to make them scream, cry and yowl from pain and anger!
So he lived happily and currently he writes Error Messages for Microsoft.
They asked a Russian:
-Why do you drink vodka?
-Cause it`s liquid. If it was in hard condition, I would have gnow it...