An old man had a goat. He decided to take it on a walk on the dogs` alley. He took the goat there, but suddenly a policeman popped up from somewhere.
-Mister, why are you walking your goat on the dogs` alley?
-That`s not a goat, it`s a dog… can`t you see?
-What kind of a dog has horns?!
-And why the hell do you pry in my dog`s sexual life?!

Two soaps were talking to each other. The first said:
-Why are you so tiny?
The other answered:
-I take a shower often!

An addicted man, firefighter and a sadist were sitting on a bench.
The addicted man said:
-Only if there was a cigarette right now…
The firefighter:
-And after that, I would extinguish it…
The sadist:
-In your ass…

What is financially - sexual crisis?
You open your wallet and there is a dick inside.

A redneck went in the pharmacy and said:
-Ten condoms, please!
The pharmacist being polite:
-And what kind? Fast as Porshe, nice as BMW or reliable as Volvo?
-Gimme some that are as Jip… Eitherways they are gonna thrust in holes!

Two baby twins were playing cards in their mother`s venter.
Suddenly one of them threw the cards and said:
-I`m not playing anymore!
-Why? - asked the other baby.
-Because one red headed bold man comes in and out and watches my cards!

They asked the radio:
-What are the similarities and what are the differences between knight of the 17th century and an honest woman?
The answer was:
-The similarity is that both of them had disappeared in the 17th century, and the difference is that the knight is fighting to the last drop of blood and the woman - to the first one.

-Excuse me, but you still owe me 1000$!
-Apologize accepted!

-Have you ever eaten kangaroo meat?
-Of course, I have.
-And how do you like it?
-Well… fish as all the other fishes.

-Can you do blowjobs?
-No, I can`t!
-Nevermind… suck it the best you can.

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